


the shadows part and the clouds will drift away

by howveryzoe



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: I know, M/M, Part Two, This is weird, discussion of death tw, he wouldn't have time to think all this, i tagged this as a dizzee/thor fic bc they're in it but like this isn't a dizzee/thor fic, im gonna straight up say he doesn't die don't worry, implied racism tw, it's about dizzee and like not about the relationship, suicidal thoughts tw, this takes place in the tunnel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 08:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howveryzoe/pseuds/howveryzoe
Summary: "He’s suited more to space travel then running for his life. The train is coming. And there’s nowhere to run."Dizzee in the last few moments of part two





	the shadows part and the clouds will drift away

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from the song Clouds Will Drift Away by Duncan Sheik which is the best song ever maybe

His heart is beating so fast and his breathing is so ragged his lungs burn and he thinks he will faint. His legs ache, his feet feel raw, his head is spinning. He wasn’t built for this. He’s suited more to space travel then running for his life. The train is coming. And there’s nowhere to run.

Back? To the cops? To dogs and guns and handcuffs? And who knows if he’d even run fast enough? He’s not dying on the way to embrace his oppressors. To the side? No tunnel to jump into. No Thor to grab his hand and save him once more. Poor Thor, he thinks. Saved him three times only for it to end like this. There’s no Shao to pull him onto his bike and speed him away. No Zeke to stop the train with the pure power of his words. No Mylene with a siren song to lure him to an exit. It’s only him and a steadily approaching train hell bent on flattening him.

His mind is running a mile a minute. An exit? An exit? Who ever thought this would be his end? Or was this perhaps inevitable? His parents always knew he was trouble. Had said as much. A terrible mix of his mother’s heart and his father’s independence, added to his own innate alienness. Doomed from the start. When he’d bought his first can of krylon, he’d signed his own death warrant.

Though, he must admit, Thor was his true doom. He’d made him ready to die, happy enough to die. He’d tricked him into believing there was room for an alien at the opera. True, Thor hadn’t known any better and Dizzee, caught up in the fantasy, had let himself believe him. But the opera was over now, the soprano had sang her final aria with her last tortured breaths. The curtain had fallen and now he was a stranger in a strange land.

So why not let go? His exhausted body pleaded with him to do so. And what awaited for him in life? He had no college, no job, no future plans. Their kingdom had fallen, the Get Down brothers were no more. His sister was off to Hollywood. His baby brother was on his way to jail. How could he even face his parents? The cops had Thor. For all he knows he was bleeding or dying or already in the squad car. Koch’s voice echoes in his ear “three for repeat offenders.” That’d be it for Thor. Does he even want to live if he won’t see him or Boo Boo for years? This would be easier for all involved. Hop in your spaceship and disappear as suddenly as you’d appeared. Back to the stars boy.

He was ready, wasn’t he? He’d even said it in those glorious few hours of being totally himself. Maybe that had been the ever awaited opera. Act One, swinging the door open of the loft and feeling kisses and the wind from the Hudson River cover his cool skin. Act Two, the painting and laughing and shouts of joy. Act Three, the roof and the blasting beat and rhyming raps. He wrote the last issue of the comic. A perfect suicide note. He’d even proclaimed this was their last trian. And what a masterpiece it had been. All of them at the writer’s bench would immortalize them for it. Even Shaolin Fantastic couldn’t rival it. He knew what he was getting himself into.

So why was he so scared? Maybe because he hadn’t done everything yet. He hadn’t ever been to Queens, he thinks. It would be cool to go to Queens and see the museums there. He’d never had a real job. He’d never gotten so drunk he passed out. He’d only had sex once and that had just been a day ago. He hadn’t heard Yolanda’s new song or seen her new movie. He hadn’t ever gotten his work in a gallery. He’d never worn a dress or make up. He’d never dyed his hair. The list went on and on but most importantly, he’d never been to an opera.

Somehow the realness of that fact hit him. Not a metaphorical one in the safety of the loft but a real genuine opera. He’d never even listened to the album of a full one. His mother had told him the story of an opera once when he and Yolanda were little and she was putting him to bed. About a princess named Aida who was captured by the Egyptians and fought to free her people and return her father to the throne. Told them how she fell in love with the Egyptian captain of the guards and chose to die with him rather than go home. Dizzee guesses he should learn from the story. Either let himself be arrested or get hit by this train. Don’t live if it means losing the person you love.

But he wants to see that opera, he does. Wants to hear the orchestra tune and the tenors cry. Doesn’t he deserve that? But no. He’s an alien on earth and he’s supposed to be thankful he’s been allowed to live this long. Allowed to even know what operas are. Be glad they let him walk the streets, even though he knows no matter where he is he’s wrong. He’s terrifying. It’s all too late for him he guesses.

There’s nowhere to run and he can feel himself giving up. Rumi will live on, he thinks. His body will be crushed but maybe then he’ll truly be free. If he closes his eyes this is outer space and the train is just an asteroid about to knock his ship off course. He wonders, will it hurt? In the news they always say they died instantly but maybe that’s just a euphemism to make people feel better. At least it’ll be quick he knows that. He’ll just try to focus on the stars when it happens. Focus on that one time his school took him to the Natural History Museum and he got lost in the planetarium for hours and the teacher had to call security. It’d been in seventh grade and even then he was the weirdo. He thinks he should say goodbye. If even in his head. Who knows? Maybe he is really psychic and his loved ones will be able to hear his whispered words somehow.

Goodbye Mama, I’m sorry I’m doing this to you. Two sons in one day, this’ll break your heart. But you always told us to follow our hearts so here I am. Goodbye Dad, you knew I was trouble but I guess you didn’t have it in you to lock me away like you should’ve done. I’m really happy here I swear, even if you’d never understand. Goodbye Boo Boo, the closest of my brothers. Wherever you end up I’ll be with you and you’ll be smart enough and quick enough to get out someday. I wish I could’ve told you the truth but maybe you’ll realize just what type of alien I was on your own. Goodbye Yolanda, you’re the bravest person I know and that movie is going to be incredible. You’re just as talented as Mylene don’t let anyone tell you different. Goodbye Ra Ra, if only I’d listened to you talk about Star Wars more and told you more about Rumi. Maybe we’re a little more alike than I ever knew. Goodbye Thor, oh Thor...what can I even say to you? What does this justice? Thank you for everything, I don’t regret an instant of it. Goodbye Zeke, your words are gonna pull so many people out of the darkness and into action. Goodbye Shao, maybe one day you’ll let yourself be an alien too, do it for me. Goodbye Mylene, thanks for setting me free, I owe you more than you know. Goodbye Regina, make my sister not mourn me for too long.

His mind keeps drifting to more and more names. Tanya, his brother’s girl. His ever loving grandparents. The beautiful girl from the club. The DJ who Thor had known. The Grandmaster. Papa Fuerte, his teachers. All the other bombers, Crash and Daze…

Daze.

His mind stops on that one name and in what he thinks is his last second things click.

Daze had once told him about a similar situation, a similar predicament, a train in front and cops behind. How’d you get out dude? Dizzee had asked anxiously. Simple, he’d told him, you lie flat between the tracks, the train goes over you. It’s dirty and gross but you live.

There’s his solution. He feels his knees give way and places his hands to shield the light from his eyes. His body hits the floor with a thud. It’s disgusting and his mouth is full of shit. He closes his eyes tight, for fear of a rat scratching them out or getting an infection.

And the train rolls over him. It graze the top of his fro and the noise is so loud in his ears that his head is ringing. He can’t move a muscle, is too scared to move a muscle. His body shakes like a leaf. But he’s alive, he’s alive, the train is gone.

He can’t pull himself up, he’s too weak and scared. As his senses clear he can hear a voice in the darkness.

_“DIZZEE!”_

It’s Thor, loud and desperate from the end of the tunnel. He thinks he’s dead, Dizzee realizes. He saw the train come and him go down and of course assumed the worst. He wants to yell, I’m fine! I’m alive! But he isn’t revealing himself to the police now.

Far away in his ears he can hear the boy still sobbing and calling his name but it’s barely an echo now. Everything is smaller and everything is clearer.

Whatever happens next he’ll be ready, he’ll face it head on. Be it from Annie or the Warlords or his own family or Ed fucking Koch. He can do it. He knows that now. He’s going to make it to the opera.

**Author's Note:**

> idk why im like this but here we are  
> i project onto dizzee a lot


End file.
